Death, LSD & Maharaji

I had brought a picture with me of a boy who had died in America under strange circumstances. In 1968 he had come to see me in New Hampshire and had become one of my first students of yoga. He would come and visit each week and he immediately absorbed everything I shared with him of what I had learned in India. I had eventually wanted to send him to Hari Dass, but he had preferred to go to live in a cave in Arizona to continue his sadhana. I had taught him all I could, but he wrote me letters and checked in every few months during the winter of 1968-69.

I didn’t hear from him for a while and later learned he had died in a cave. His mother had shared with me his final diary entries, which were most unusual. I suspected that the final diary entry had written while he was under the influence of LSD. The story was that he had been found dead with blood coming out of his nose and that there was blood on the wall. Perhaps he had been doing pranayam (yogic breathing practice) and had burst a blood vessel. The entries were as follow:

“Ramana Maharshi and my guru are both navigating my maha samadhi…no worry…I am in infinite bliss…and will guide you from within…right Ram Dass and tell him the good news that I have no longer to undergo sadhana…and there…Love, love…I know what is happening, also the guru is with me inside…know that I left the body completely identified with Jesus…Jesu esta conmigo. Yo estoy en su corazon…con guru.”

I had promised his mother that when I was next with Maharajji I would ask him about his son. At the appropriate time I fetched what had been his high-school graduation picture and handed it to Maharajji. He peered at it closely and said, “He’s not in his body.”

“That’s right, Maharajji.”

“He died from taking medicine.”

“Aha, I thought so.” (This implied to me that he had not indeed entered true samadhi but had probably done pranayam while on LSD.)

But then Maharajji, apparently understanding my doubts, said, “No, it is alright. He will not take rebirth. He finished his work. Now he is one with Christ. He loved you very much. He cried about you.” Maharajji was silent for some time and then he added, “You should tell his mother she should not worry, he is with Christ. He is watching over her. He finished his work.” (Maharajji had quoted exactly the words of the diary, and he had showed me that under certain circumstances LSD could be the vehicle for returning to God.) Then Maharajji sat silently with eyes closed. The moment was one of great power.

~Ram Dass